Memento mori

Last night I had a nightmare that was particularly unpleasant because of its realistic nature. Some people say that if you die in a dream, it's because your other self has just done it, and not in a good way precisely, in one of the many parallel universes. 

 

In my dream, I found myself entering a cold, damp, and dark passageway reminiscent of those in the Citadel of Pamplona, which were once used to redirect soldiers towards the city fortress. After passing through the gate, I discovered a small snowy courtyard that led to a plateau. Surrounding the plateau was a wall that had been destroyed by some bombardment, and sandbags were haphazardly piled on it as a makeshift defense. As soon as I stepped into the courtyard, I noticed a Slavic-looking woman sitting and talking with her two daughters, completely ignoring my presence. Shortly after, I ascended the plateau and entered a military barracks where several people were paying their respects to bodies lying face up with their heads covered. 

 

There were many people there, mostly civilians, and some low-ranking military personnel giving them orders. For some reason, I knew exactly why I was there. I had never even considered it, but in the dream, I had specifically gone to eastern Ukraine to offer help, whatever that meant. Everyone started gathering their belongings and began marching to flee the area, and I was surprised to realize that I wasn't even wearing a warm coat. I felt the cold and had a feeling that if the bullets didn't kill me, the cold would. Nevertheless, I decided to press on. 

 

The dream shifted, and I found myself walking in a line of civilians through what appeared to be a dilapidated building. The large windows made me uneasy as we passed by them. Suddenly, a barrage of gunshots started ripping through the cheerful windows at an ear-splitting rate, and we all dropped to the ground. Many were already badly injured, with blood and screams of agony filling the air. Even the soldier who had been with us shouted something in Ukrainian as he fired his weapon before falling to the ground. Strangely enough, it was as if I understood what he was saying. He was speaking in Ukrainian, but I could comprehend his message: "This is a neutral zone, you damn murderers". The fear that overwhelmed me in that moment was unlike anything I had ever experienced in real life. So many things left unfinished, so much to mend, and so many trivialities that I had worried about suddenly seemed pointless. I also knew that being so conspicuous, I would be an easy target and needed to find a hiding place. But it was too late. First, I was shot in the leg (it felt excruciating), and then a bullet struck me straight in the head. That's when I woke up. 

 

 

The first thing I felt was overwhelming relief, quickly followed by the disappointing realization that I had no clue how to react to such an ambush. I mean, what would one do in a war? Could I "self-train" to protect my family and survive an armed conflict? Basic knowledge of first aid? Yes... I clearly saw that some basic military training wouldn't hurt, to arm the damn defenseless herd that we truly are. 

 

So, after several hours of contemplating the morning after my alternative death, I will summarize what the experts consider fundamental in such a situation: 

 

🛟 If we have been warned of a conflict in our area, find out where the shelters are located, and if you have a basement in your house, ensure it is in good condition before using it. Prepare a good backpack with essentials such as water (a minimum of 2 liters per person per day), non-perishable food items (various canned goods), a flashlight, and medications. It may sound cliché, but these items are crucial. Strengthen your windows with adhesive tape to prevent shattering, or better yet, board them up using sandbags or sturdy furniture. 

 

🛟 In the event of sudden shelling and no available shelter, lie on the ground with your head facing away from the explosions and cover your head with your hands or any available object. Utilize any nearby cover, such as a trench, a concrete garbage can, or stairs, to protect yourself. However, avoid hiding behind cars or kiosks, as they often become targets for gunfire. Wherever you find yourself, assume the safest position possible, with the fetal position being recommended. Cover your head with your hands and open your mouth, so if there is a nearby explosion, your eardrums won't be affected. Finally, when it's safe to escape the area, wait until the shooting has ceased for at least 5 minutes before doing so. 

 

🛟 And as for dealing with fear... Although fear and anxiety are natural emotions in a dangerous situation, try to stay focused on the actions you need to take. Assess the situation, make quick but rational decisions, and keep moving forward. Deep breathing can help with this: concentrate on your breath to reduce anxiety and calm your mind. Take slow, deep breaths to help control your emotions and maintain mental clarity. 

 

I've read that dying in a dream can reflect a fear of death or loss. The truth is, after thinking about it, it may seem like a warning. Of course, we will all die sooner or later, but what separates this very moment of life from the nothingness before we were born and to which we will return leaves us with deep existential doubts. Basically, why are we here?